


Wisps

by this_is_tragic



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Angst, Delusions, EXO - Freeform, M/M, Memory Loss, Memory gaps, Mentions Of Sehun, im sorry idk what I was doing, mentions of Minseok
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-16
Updated: 2016-08-16
Packaged: 2018-08-09 06:14:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,136
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7789783
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/this_is_tragic/pseuds/this_is_tragic
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He got up and walked toward the adjacent bathroom. “Yifan? Are you in here?” The night light was left on and when he peered through the crack the bathroom was empty. The only things in there were Joonmyeon’s that clothes he had left in there from the previous days’ activities. Where is he?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Wisps

**Author's Note:**

> I'm so sorry I don't even know what I was doing when I wrote this. Please forgive me for this trash fic and leave a comment.
> 
> EDIT: I fixed a few things since posting! Please let me know if you find any errors in my writing.

The feeling of cold brought shivers down Joonmyeon’s spine and graced his skin with goose bumps. At first he thought nothing of it and pulled the covers further over his head, shifting positions to lie on his side. The chilling touch subsided after a while and was replaced with warmth. 

Then another wave of cold washed over him. It felt as if someone had poured a bucket of icy water on his body. Joonmyeon sat up slowly and stretched in the dark. 

“Yifan,” he mumbled, sleep heavy in his voice, “Have you forgotten to close the window again? I’m gonna catch a damn cold one of these day if you keep doing this.” 

He was met with deafening silence, save for the tiny “tic’s” coming from the clock on the wall. “Yifan?” He reached out towards the other side of the bed but felt cold empty sheets. Joonmyeon fumbled for the switch on the bedside lamp. It took a few tries before light flooded the small room. Yifans side of the bed looked untouched and neat like no one had ever slept there before.  
He got up and walked toward the adjacent bathroom. 

“Yifan? Are you in here?” The night light was left on and when he peered through the crack the bathroom was empty. The only things in there were Joonmyeon’s that clothes he had left in there from the previous days’ activities. Where is he?  
The only other place the smaller male could think of was the kitchen/living room. He walked in to see the hunched figure of someone sitting at the table. 

“Yifan, what the hell are you doing sitting here a 4:00 in the morning? You scared me, plus you left the window open. It’s bad enough that I have to sleep with the thin blanket…” He trailed off into nothing. The figure only stared back at him, quiet and unmoving. Joonmyeon waited for an answer but he received none. “Whatever, let’s just go back to bed.” 

The figure slowly approached him until they were no less than two feet away from Joonmyeon. 

“Hyung… I’m not Yifan.” The small voice belonged to the youngest, Sehun. Concern was written all over his face. He knew what was going on. 

Ever since Yifan’s departure Joonmyeon started to have gaps in his memory. First, it began with leaving out an extra bowl for him on the table for dinner and looking towards his empty spot on stage, just minor things. This didn’t worry the other members too much. Xiumin would ever so gently remind him about Yifan’s whereabouts and they’d go on with life. Then it grew. The gaps grew over the months to where he’d call out for him to help him with dinner and go looking for him. He’d stay up late saying that he’s waiting for Yifan to come back from practice. His smile never faltered as he watched the door for another few minutes before Xiumin would tell him that he isn’t coming home. Joonmyeon would blink a few times, smile, and apologize for troubling them. When he walked past, Sehun would catch the empty look in his eyes before he disappeared into his room. This is the first time he has woken up looking for him.

Joonmyeon smiled disappointment and deep sadness briefly flashing in his eyes. “Oh, I’m sorry,” he gave a small chuckle “Have you seen him? I swear that man just wanders off some times.” The sincere and innocent look in his eyes made it all the more painful for Sehun. 

“Hyung…” he started off with hesitance and unwillingness, “Do you remember what… happened? Have you forgotten again?” Joonmyeon’s utterly confused face gave conformation to his own confusion. He sighed heavily, preparing for what’s next. “He…” Sehun took a moment to gather his feelings because it hurt him to even think about Yifan leaving. It hit them all hard, some more than others. He took one more deep breath before starting again. “Su- I mean Joonmyeon Hyung, he left. He’s not here anymore. He hasn’t been here for a while.” Joonmyeon stopped blinking for a moment as if he had just witnessed someone being shot.  
He looked toward Sehun with teary eyes, “W-what?” 

Sehun wanted to stop there and walk away. He wanted sit in his room, lock the door, and disappear. To escape the pain of it all, but he could feel all the pent up anger and sadness rising to the surface. After all these years of keeping quiet and putting on fake smiles to cover up the hurt he couldn’t bare it any longer. He looked Joonmyeon straight in the eyes, tears burning in his own. 

“He’s gone!” Sehun’s voice resonated in his ears. “Don’t you understand that? Can’t you move on? You’re just hurting the rest of us with your delusional fantasies! We all miss him so get in line! I-I… just…” His own feelings got the best of him as he fumbled over his words, trying desperately to stop his tears. His attempts proved futile as he let the long overdue tears take over him. The broken sounds of him crying and gasping for air reverberated off the walls and filled in the empty silence. Sehun’s knees gave out from under him and he dropped to the floor. 

Joonmyeon could feel the tears roll down, an all too familiar feeling. He’s right. Yifan is gone and he’s not coming back. He won’t be there to wake him up, nor will he be there to put him to sleep. No matter how many times Joonmyeon prays for him to return, hold him tight and tell him that this is all some sick joke and that he’ll never leave him again, he won’t. 

Joonmyeon looked toward the crumpled pile that was once the young and energetic Oh Sehun and let out a choked sob. This was all his fault. Had he not spend all his time crying in his room, he could have been there for Sehun. He could’ve comforted him and protected his smile. 

His footsteps gently resonated off the walls as he walked over to Sehun. He sat down beside Sehun and pulled him half-way into his lap. Joonmyeon gently placed the younger’s head in the crook of his neck, pressing his cheek to Sehun’s forehead while whispering comforting things into his ear.

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. Everything will be okay. I'll get better, I promise. I promise..." Joonmyeon continued his mantra until Sehun's soft steady breathing could be heard. 

The sun had leaked through the kitchen window, the delicate yellow light illuminating their skin. Joonmyeon hummed along with the birds and let his eyes fall shut. The wisps of what Yifan left behind are a problem for later, for now he is content with what he has here. 

**Author's Note:**

> Haha well if you made it to the end then thanks for reading. Let me know if this is good or not. Please. I basically live off of comments.


End file.
